the [painful] process of beauty for ashes

it's a hard thing to ask for the perfecting process, to willfully *seek out* that painful "abase to rebuild" experience.

search me, o God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

psalm 139:23-24

set a watch, o LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips. incline not my heart to any evil thing, to practise wicked works with men that work iniquity: and let me not eat of their dainties. let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness: and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head: for yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities.

....

but mine eyes are unto thee, o GOD the Lord: in thee is my trust; leave not my soul destitute. keep me from the snares which they have laid for me, and the gins [noose, hook for the nose, trap] of the workers of iniquity. let the wicked fall into their own nets, whilst that i withal escape.

psalm 141:3-5, 8-10

iniquity: to exert oneself in vain, vain(ity), nothingness...idol...mischief, evil, unjust, affliction

what an interesting array of definitions for a word. i already knew the latter, but recently God's been working on my heart something fierce regarding the former. he's been slowly questioning anything i give my time to and holding it under the microscope of vanity (empty efforts). and at this time in my life, i cannot afford ANY vanity, friends. #amiright?

all the efforts i'm making to curb (and remove) the vanity are painful, difficult, exhausting -- reversing years of mistake and sin -- but God is so gracious to ensure that THESE tedious efforts aren't in vain. with him as my comfort and guide, they lead to a finite 180.

for behold this selfsame thing, that ye sorrowed after a godly sort, what carefulness it wrought in you, yea, what clearing of yourselves, yea, what indignation [irritation, vexation], yea, what fear, yea, what vehement desire, yeah, what zeal, yea, what revenge! in all things ye have approved yourselves to be clear in this matter.

2 corinthians 7:11

this perfection process is approving me as:
- a minister of God (2 corinthians 6:4)
- one who is doing that which is honest (2 corinthians 13:7)
- one who rightly divides the word of truth (2 timothy 2:15)
- one who serves Christ in righteousness, peace, joy in the Holy Ghost (romans 14:17-18)

so now, in posting this i'm flipping the script and appealing to you, dear friends. i know it's hard, and painful, and exhausting...but it's what we are called to do. period. and the end is so beautiful.

having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.

2 corinthians 7:1

    [1] having therefore these promises:
 
...i will receive you, and will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.
2 corinthians 6:18b

...but where sin abounded, grace did much more abound: that as sin hath reigned unto death, even so might grace reign through righteousness unto eternal life by Jesus Christ our Lord.
romans 5:20b, 21

let us therefore FEAR, lest, a promise being left [us] of entering into his rest, any of you should seem to come short of it.

hebrews 4:1

whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. and beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; and to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; and to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. for if these things be in you, and abound, they make [you that ye shall] neither [be] barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
2 peter 1:4-8

faith * virtue * knowledge * temperance * patience * godliness * brotherly kindness * charity

  
    [2] let us cleanse ourselves:

create in me a clean heart, o God; and renew a right spirit within me.
psalm 51:10

wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed [thereto] according to thy word.
psalm 119:9

therefore i will judge you, o house of israel, every one according to his ways, saith the Lord GOD. Repent, and turn [yourselves] from all your transgressions; so iniquity shall not be your ruin. cast away from you all your transgressions, whereby ye have transgressed; and make you a new heart and a new spirit: for why will ye die, o house of israel? for i have no pleasure in the death of him that dieth, saith the Lord GOD: wherefore turn [yourselves], and live ye.
....
then will i sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be clean: from all your filthiness, and from all your idols, will i cleanse you. a new heart also will i give you, and a new spirit will i put within you: and i will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and i will give you an heart of flesh.
ezekiel 18:30-32; 36:25,26

blessed [are] the pure in heart: for they shall see God.
matthew 5:8

woe unto you, scribes and pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess. [thou] blind pharisee, cleanse first that [which is] within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also.
matthew 23:25,26

for the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ; who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works.
titus 2:11-14

draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. cleanse [your] hands, [ye] sinners; and purify [your] hearts, [ye] double minded.
james 4:8

seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, [see that ye] love one another with a pure heart fervently:
1 peter 1:22

dearly beloved, i beseech [you] as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;
1 peter 2:11

    [3] of all filthiness of the flesh and spirit:

let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
isaiah 55:7

o jerusalem, wash thine heart from wickedness, that thou mayest be saved. how long shall thy vain thoughts lodge within thee?
jeremiah 4:14

for ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
1 corinthians 6:20

    [4] perfecting holiness: 

be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

matthew 5:48

 
for the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ: till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:
ephesians 4:12,13

not as though i had already attained, either were already perfect: but i follow after, if that i my apprehend that for which also i am apprehended of Christ Jesus. brethren, i count not myself to have apprehended: but [this] one thing [i do], forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, i press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you.
philippians 3:12-15

but the God of all *grace*, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish [to turn resolutely in a certain direction, to confirm], strengthen [also, confirm in spiritual knowledge or power], settle [to lay a basis for, i.e. literally erect or figuratively consolidate; lay the foundation, ground, settle] [you].
1 peter 5:10 *ministry administers God's grace*

    [5] in the fear of God.

and he charged them, saying, thus shall ye do in the fear of the LORD, faithfully, and with a perfect heart.

2 chronicles 19:9

by mercy and truth iniquity is purged: and by the fear of the LORD [men] depart from evil.
proverbs 16:6

then had the churches rest throughout all Judaea and Galilee and Samaria, and were edified; and walking in the fear of the Lord, and in the comfort of the Holy Ghost, were multiplied.
acts 9:31

wherefore we receiving a kingdom which cannot be moved, let us have grace, whereby we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear:
hebrews 12:28

#hewillbeyourstrength

a [battle] plan for this youth leader

#tbh you have to know that i absolutely didn't and couldn't plan this - it just...happened. (i feel like i say that a lot on here?) for one whole week, right after our entire church had a time of summer submission to the Lord (adult bible conference + youth camp + vbs), God laid out my improved battle plan. He and i had already become pretty serious, but it was time to step up my game to a whole new level of "no one else is doing this." hah! #justbeinreal

i usually wouldn't share, but i feel like quite a few could benefit from parts and pieces of this plan in their own personal story with Him...so i shared.

like i said, this was so all God, and probably won't happen again anytime soon (think the crazy i timothy posts He gave me a few months back). but, here's the gist: [1] fear the LORD so you can have [2] the secret of the LORD. [3] wait on Him and [4] hope/trust in Him. you'll learn why if you read on... #blindside

i think it's time

to sober up and live

now every little second is time

and every word seems to rhyme

i follow every word like streetlights

to make it home alright

SUNDAY

o the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out!

romans 11:33

**to UNDERSTAND the fear of the LORD[1] (and find the knowledge of God)**

       LISTEN

       - receive my words

       - hide my commandments with thee

       - incline thine ear to wisdom

       DO

       - apply thine heart to understanding

       PRAY/ASK

       - cry after knowledge

       - lift up thy voice for understanding...seek for her, search for her

       [[proverbs 2:1-5]]

-- promises to claim are underlined --

for the LORD giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding. He layeth up sound wisdom for the righteous...[and] when wisdom entereth into thine heart and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul, discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee.
[[proverbs 2:6-7a, 10-11]]

DISCRETION [mezimmah - from zamam (to plan - to have a thought, devise a plan, consider, purpose) -- a plan, usually evil, sometimes good; purpose, device, plot, thought, intents -- sagacity: acuteness of mental, sound judgment; keen sense of perception]

earlier that day...

**WHY have the fear of the LORD**

[1] dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of the LORD (come out from among them and be separate)...because we have these promises if we do [I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people // and I will receive you and will be a Father unto you -- (2 corinthians 6:14-18)]


MONDAY

**PROMISES attached to the fear of the LORD**

[1] [so, then] what man is he that feareth the LORD? him shall he teach in the way that he shall choose. his soul shall dwell at ease; and his seed shall inherit the earth. the secret of the LORD[2] [Wednesday's reading] is with them that fear him; and he will shew them his covenant.
[[psalm 25:12-14]]

my prayer for myself, then, since sanctification "perfects holiness in the fear of the Lord"

let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for i wait on thee[3].
[[psalm 25:21]]

but as for me, i will walk in mine integrity: redeem me, and be merciful unto me [praying appeals to God's mercy]. my foot standeth in an even place: in the congregations will i bless the LORD.
[[psalm 26:11-12]]

for the upright shall dwell in the land, and the perfect shall remain in it.
[[proverbs 2:21]]

INTEGRITY [tom - from tamam (to complete); completeness; figuratively, prosperity; usually (moral) innocence -- also, perfect(ion), simplicity, upright(-ly,-ness) -- see tummiym (perfections)]
-- one of the high priest epithets...used with Urim --> the will of God was revealed --

**HOW to wait on the LORD**

[3] when thou saidest, seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, thy face, LORD, will i seek.
[[psalm 27:8]]

[3] teach me thy way, o LORD, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.
[[psalm 27:11]]

[3] i had fainted, unless i had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, i say, on the LORD.
[[psalm 27:13]]

**HOW to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living**

finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, THINK ON THESE THINGS.

philippians 4:8

TUESDAY 

[3] ...patient continuance in well doing seek for glory and honour...glory, honour, and peace [ministry administers God's peace], to every man that worketh good.
[[romans 2:7,10]]

[after reading about all the voice of the LORD has the power to do] the LORD will give strength unto his people; the LORD will bless his people with peace [ministry administers God's peace].
[[psalm 29:11]]

a prayer to claim for our class...

save thy people, and bless thine inheritance: feed them also, and lift them up for ever.
[[psalm 28:9]]


WEDNESDAY

...because if not -- a better explanation of the lost hearts i'm reaching for Him

because they regard not the works of the LORD, nor the operation of his hands, he shall destroy them, and not build them up.
[[psalm 28:5]]

there is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God. they are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one. their throat is an open sepulchre; with their tongues they have used deceit; the poison of asps is under their lips: whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness: their feet are swift to shed blood: destruction and misery are in their ways: and the way of peace [ministry administers God's peace] have they not known: there is no fear of God before their eyes.
[[romans 3:11-18]]

**MORE PROMISES attached to the fear of the LORD**

oh how great is thy goodness, which thou has laid up for them that fear thee; which thou hast wrought for them that trust in thee before the sons of men! [2]thou shalt hide them in the secret of thy presence from the pride of man: thou shalt keep them secretly in a pavilion from the strife of tongues.
[[psalm 31:19-20]]

behold, the eye of the LORD is upon them that fear him,  upon them that hope in his mercy [praying appeals to God's mercy]; to deliver their soul from death, and to keep them alive in famine. our soul [3]waiteth for the LORD: he is our help and our shield. for our heart shall rejoice in him, because we have trusted in his holy name. let thy mercy [praying appeals to God's mercy], o LORD, be upon us, according as we hope[4] in thee.
[[psalm 33:18-22]]

**PROMISES to those who hope/trust in the LORD**

[4] be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.
[[psalm 31:24]]

[4] thou art my hiding place; thou shalt preserve me from trouble; thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance. selah. i will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: i will guide thee with mine eye. many sorrows shall be to the wicked: but he that trusteth in the LORD, mercy [praying appeals to God's mercy] shall compass him about.
[[psalm 32:7-8,10]]

[4] for thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name's sake lead me, and guide me. pull me out of the net that they have laid privily for me: for thou art my strength. into thine hand i commit my spirit [little 's' - the flesh side]: thou hast redeemed me, o LORD God of truth.
[[psalm 31:3-5]]

be glad in the LORD, and rejoice, ye righteous: and shout for joy, all ye that are upright in heart. rejoice in the LORD, o ye righteous: for praise is comely for the upright.

psalm 32:11; 33:1

well then. don't mind if i do #dcb it up...

oh, happiness

there is grace enough for us

and the whole human race

sound the church bells

let 'em ring

let 'em ring

for everything can be redeemed

we can be redeemed

all of us

THURSDAY

**HOW to fear the LORD**

o taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him. o fear the LORD [1], ye his saints: for there is no want to them that fear him. the young lions do lack, and suffer hunger: but they that seek the LORD shall not want any good thing. come, ye children, hearken unto me: i will teach you the fear of the LORD. what man is he that desireth life, and loveth many days, that he may see good? keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile. depart from evil, and do good; seek peace [ministry administers God's peace], and pursue it.
[[psalm 34:8-14]]

GUILE [in the sense of deceiving; fraud: - craft, feigned, subtilly, treachery]

**MORE PROMISES to those who hope/trust in the LORD**

[4] who against hope believed in hope, that he might become the father of many nations, according to that which was spoken, so shall thy seed be...he staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God; and being fully persuaded that, what he had promised, he was able to perform. and therefore it was imputed to him for righteousness. now it was not written for his sake alone, that it was imputed to him; but for us also, to whom it shall be imputed, if we believe on him that raise up Jesus our Lord from the dead;
[[romans 4:18, 20-24]]

[4] how excellent is thy lovingkindness, o God! therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of thy wings. they shall be abundantly satisfied with the fatness of thy house; and thou shalt make them drink of the river of thy pleasures. for with thee is the fountain of life: in thy light shall we see light.
[[psalm 36:7-9]]

[4] many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all. he keepeth all his bones: not one of them is broken...the LORD redeemeth the soul of his servants: and none of them that trust in him shall be desolate.
[[psalm 34:19-20, 22]]

o Lord, working for You isn't without cost. for the sake of SO MANY souls, God, i know what i do for you NEEDS to be successful. i pray this...

plead my cause, o LORD, with them that strive with me: fight against them that fight against me...let them be confounded and put to shame that seek after my soul: let them be turned back and brought to confusion that devise my hurt...let them be ashamed and brought to confusion together that rejoice at mine hurt: let them be clothed with shame and dishonour that magnify themselves against me...let not the foot of pride come against me, and let not the hand of the wicked remove me. there are the workers of iniquity fallen: they are cast down, and shall not be able to rise.
[[psalm 35:1, 4; 36:11-12]]

instead... 

let them shout for joy, and be glad, that favour my righteous cause: yes, let them say continually, let the LORD be magnified, which hath pleasure in the prosperity of his servant. and my tongue shall speak of thy righteousness and of thy praise all the day long.
[[psalm 35:26-28]]

...so that You get the glory!


FRIDAY

today i asked the Lord [again] about our financial situation. my humanness couldn't see how His plan for me to stay at home could work out any longer. (it seemed like it hadn't worked since day one.) i was living "normal" even "minimally" by any good Christian's standards, and things were STILL not working out. but alas, He is calling me to give up MORE.

for mine iniquities are gone over mine head: as an heavy burden they are too heavy for me. my wounds stink and are corrupt because of my foolishness.
[[psalm 38:4-5]]

**MY PROMISES for continuing to trust in the LORD**

[4] trust in the LORD, and do good; so shall thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. and he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday. rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.
[[psalm 37:3-7]]

i have His power to conquer the rest of my flesh in this area and live [and LEND] in a financial submission many will never know...because He asked me to...

i have been young, and now am old; yet have i not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread. he is ever merciful, and lendeth; and his seed is blessed [despite his financial state]. depart from evil, and do good; and dwell for evermore.
[[psalm 37:25-27]]

the LORD knoweth the days of the upright: and their inheritance shall be for ever. they shall not be ashamed in the evil time: and in the days of famine they shall be satisfied...the steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way...the law of his God is in his heart; none of his steps shall slide.
[[psalm 37:18-19, 23, 31]]

[4] and not only so, but we glory in tribulation also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope: and hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
[[romans 5:3-5]]


SATURDAY

**the CHARGE FOR ME to wait on the LORD [financially]**

[3] let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God. for sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace [reading accepts God's grace]...being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness...what fruit had ye then in those things whereof ye are now ashamed? for the end of those things is death. but now being made free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life.
[[romans 6:12-14, 18, 21-22]]

[3][4] i waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. he brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. and he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD. blessed is that man that maketh the LORD his trust and respecteth not the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies.
[[psalm 40:1-4]]

THIS is why He wants us [me] SO atypically surrendered to Him in this area -- for His glory and the souls of His beloved children! ok, God, then...

withhold not thou thy tender mercies from me, o LORD: let thy lovingkindness and thy truth continually preserve me. for innumerable evils have compassed me about: mine iniquities have taken hold upon me, so that i am not able to look up; they are more than the hairs of mine head: therefore my heart faileth me. be pleased, o LORD, to deliver me: o LORD, make haste to help me.
[[psalm 40:11-13]]

time to buckle down and WIN THIS BATTLE.

confidence is [not] the issue

over the past few months, a group of young moms at our church chose to dive into the best yes. if you haven't read this book yet, you guys...you NEED to consider it.

i'm not a very emotional person, but the most recent chapter literally sent me to tears after the first paragraph. #neverhappens and i'm not saying it will do the same for you. God was moving. He's been heavily at work in my heart, giving me more and more awesome, clear (and kinda scary!) glimpses of his future plans for me. lots of concern for my abilities (or lack thereof) and fear of disappointment began to well up inside me these last few weeks. and then i read it, an analogy that exposed the lies in my heart for what they were and replaced them with peace.

when it comes to living out God's plan for your life, "you will sometimes feel exposed. fidgety. out of place. insecure. and oh-so-incredibly awkward. and i want you to understand these feelings aren't a sign that it's time to turn back. or to give in to that people-pleasing desire beating against your fragile resolve. it's time to say the most important no you'll ever declare.
"it's time to say no to yourself. say to yourself, i will not let the awkward disappointment of others keep me from my Best Yes appointments with God."

#boom

"it's not a matter of gaining more confidence. it's a matter of being more certain of our convictions. confidence is being more certain of our abilities. conviction is being more certain of God's instructions [a firm, foundational belief]."

#ijustgaveyoutheanswer

only be thou strong and very courageous, that thou mayest observe to do according to all the law, which Moses my servant commanded thee: turn not from it to the right hand or to the left, that thou mayest prosper whithersoever thou goest. this book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success. have not i commanded thee? be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.

joshua 1:7-9

and let me just say, this is about the bajillionth time God has prodded me to SERIOUSLY memorize scripture over the past...two months. hah! #frt #honestyhour because He knows "strength and courage come from keeping [His] Word close...we have to be thinking about it, be able to quote it. refuse to let fear and discouragement hold us back" from ministering the way he is CLEARLY leading US to minister (not someone "better" or "more capable"...lies! He has chosen YOU! is His choice not good enough?!).

now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned; and i thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who hath enabled me, for that he counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry; howbeit for this cause i obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might shew forth all longsuffering, for a pattern to them which should hereafter believe on him to life everlasting.

1 timothy 1:5,12,16

so that's it. i put myself aside, i arm myself with the shield of faith, i stand firm, and i claim His vision for me, for us: we are going straight for the thing we know you want us to accomplish, [Lord]. bring glory to yourself by us! and i jump!

then peter said, silver and gold have i none; but such as i have give i thee: in the name of Jesus Christ of nazareth rise up and walk. and he took him by the right hand, and lifted him up: and immediately his feet and ankle bones received strength. and he leaping up stood, and walked, and entered with them into the temple, walking, and leaping, and praising God. and all the people saw him walking and praising God: and they knew that it was he which sat for alms (begging for someone to give!) at the Beautiful [belonging to the right hour or season (timely), i.e. (by implication) flourishing (beauteous (figuratively)): - beautiful] gate of the temple: and they were filled with wonder and amazement at that which had happened unto him. and as the lame man which was healed held peter and john, all the people ran together unto them in the porch that is called solomon's, greatly wondering. and when peter saw it, he answered unto the people, ye men of israel, why marvel ye at this? or why look ye so earnestly on us, as though by our own power or holiness we had made this man to walk? the God of abraham, and of isaac, and of jacob, the God of our fathers, hath glorified his Son Jesus; and his name through faith in his name hath made this man strong, whom ye see and know: yea, the faith which is by him hath given him this perfect soundness in the presence of you all.

excerpts from acts 3:6-16

can you imagine that lame man as one of your students? you have hardly ANYTHING to give; you're in the wrong stage of life, you didn't go to bible college, and you honestly still feel more like a mentor than a leader...but you squelch the lies in your head and heart and make yourself available to the Lord, for their sake. because He told you to. and all of a sudden, God moves! a student is COMPLETELY transformed and can't hide a single ounce of what God's done in them. EVERYONE notices. and initially looks to you. but all you can say to the bystanders is, did you already forget who i am? i'm not the one with power and holiness! that's not why this happened! i'm just a humble and willing servant; God did the work.

"in between where you are now and where you want to be will usually be a pathway of awkwardness. a crowd of potentially disappointed people. it's your choice to shrink back from your Best Yes...or embrace [it]."